Love Always Looks Out for Us

By love I mean God, the Universe, our Creator, that loving abundant joyful energy that exists in and around every atom of this universe.

Let me explain...

After reading a lot (A LOT) of self-help books, spiritual books, inspiring books, books on social anxiety disorders (which I suspect I may have a touch of), and philosophical books, you would think that I would have a handle on how a joyful life can be lived. And a lot of the time I love my life, feel in awe of all the blessings in my life (adoring husband, lovable kids, cute and fuzzy pets, long-time friends, a job I love, a great country to live in, enjoyment of nature etc.) But there are times when the darkness of the soul descends upon me and bit by bit, day by day, I begin to see myself as defective. Luckily this doesn't happen very often,but when it does, it hurts like hell.

I begin to feel unlovable, I read rejection (usually non-existent) in every encounter I have with people outside my immediate family. I want to be left alone but I don't want to be alone with my thoughts. I question my value as a friend, wife, mother, pet owner. I become very self-absorbed with my sadness then feel really bad that I am so self-absorbed and plunge into deeper sadness. I suddenly have more faults than the devil, I lose connection with any loving feeling I could possibly have. I believe I am incapable of love, I feel rotten to the core. There's a huge lump of despair in my solar plexus.

Then I go on to question my intelligence, my credibility as a business owner, my credibility as an adult. I spend way more time in bed than is healthy, eat way much more sugar than my body should have to tolerate, and I continue to descend into this dark abyss.

At this point, my positive self-talk doesn't help, I can barely articulate it in my mind. Crystals which can be so helpful through normal angst and anxiety are no match for this. I am not uplifted even for a moment when my pendulum assures me that things will be all right. Crying on my best friend's shoulder relieves the pressure of sadness a little, but not enough. A gentle, loving husband helps keep me from totally falling apart, but just barely. Clary Sage essential oil as recommended by my friend helps to lift my mood, but just a little bit. Though I think it was after I took a whiff of Clary Sage that I felt inspired to do the following, because...

When you combine all of the above with a novena or prayer of petition to St. Jude, the Patron Saint of Lost Souls, well something happens.

In this case it was a stranger who walked into my shop. Someone who knows WAY more about healing crystals than I do, someone who can feel energies in ways that I can't. She told me she liked my website and my blog. And then she gave me a hug. A little appreciation goes a long way. I hope I can do for someone what she did for me with her kind words.

(Writer reaches for a kleenex, feeling a little weepy now).

OK I'm back. So...when the usual things are not enough to combat this darkness, try a St. Jude prayer. You say it for 9 days in a meditative frame of mind. It goes like this:

May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved and preserved throughout the world, now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, please pray for me. Saint Jude, Worker of Miracles, please pray for me. Saint Jude, Helper of the Hopeless, please pray for me. Amen.

There are other longer versions of prayers to St. Jude, and you can find them by googling St. Jude. I just happen to like this one. I came across it when I was in my twenties and I've used it once before, and it helped in ways that I would have never expected and didn't appreciate till a few years later.

St. Jude helps with illness, financial problems, comforting a loved one etc. When your prayer has been answered, publish the prayer in the newspaper (that's how I first learned about it years ago), or in a blog or however way you want. Somehow that action brings it full circle, and by publishing this prayer, who knows, someone may read it and it might help them in wonderful and miraculous ways.

Thank you St. Jude, for favors granted.

Thank you stranger for your kind words

Happy Valentine's day.

The properties of the Citrine crystal

The reason I chose citrine today is that today I've been feeling rather grumpy. One of those "woe is me, my life sucks, I don't feel inspired, and I'm bored." Did you know that boredom is as bad for our health as stress. So, I'll be carrying a citrine in my pocket today and however long it takes to resume my happily fulfilled self.

Citrine is a stone of joy. It is associated with the solar plexus chakra and the crown chakra. Citrine is said to hold pure sunlight and never to absorb any negativity. As a matter of fact, you can cleanse your other stones by laying them on a citrine cluster. Citrine is also the stone of prosperity, attracting money or business (great stone to have if you're in retail).

To attract wealth place a citrine in the wealth corner of your home or business, which is the farthest back left point from your front door or from the door into an individual room. In my case, at the store it was in the furthest, darkest, most cobwebby corner of the storage room...yeeeesh. But if it helps, it was worth dealing with imaginary (or not so imaginary) spiders.

This happy yellow stone will clear any dark spots at home caused by restless spirits or negative earth energies. Keep citrine crystals in a room that seems cold or unfriendly. This protective stone drives away darkness and night fears and protects against negative people.

Physically citrine stimulates digestion, the spleen and the pancreas.

Citrine is the birthstone for November. Yellow topaz is also accepted as the November birthstone.