When things don't go as expected

I don't know, maybe I was being a tad unrealistic, but I was expecting sales to be more than this. OK, I know that this is the slowest retail season of the year. OK, I know that the economy has been kicked in the teeth and we are all suffering from this unpleasant state of affairs. Logically I realize that slow sales (or as in today's case) almost no sales is to be expected. But, dammit, my business bank account has taken a nose dive, bills are coming in and I have a vague feeling that the people that sent these bills are expecting to be paid.

There has been a definite feeling of self-doubt floating in the air. Optimism has suffered a blow. Worry and anxiety are taking residence within my head while shoving out confidence and self-esteem.

Now, if this was happening to a friend while I cosily was raking in the moolah, or at least meeting my financial obligations, I would be saying to Friend "The universe is just testing you. Keep believing in yourself and what you do, and the money will come. This is just a temporary state, things will get better. Listen to Esther Hicks and her Law of Attraction books." Today, If I were the said "Friend", I would probably punch me in the mouth, or, being non-violent would probably say to me to go fly a kite (of something slightly more profane).

Obviously this is not the right attitude to have, but it is an attitude that has been creeping in lately. "Reality is an illusion" HAH tell that to the phone company. "Visualize what you want and feeeeellll like it has already happened--HAH tell that to the landlord.

These negative and pissed off attitudes have been my companions these last couple of weeks. And you know what, though they reflect what I really feel, they have not done anything for me except feed into my self-pity and FEAR.

So, even though it is going to be next to impossible (did I mention a sore jaw (TMJ?) and hemorroids) I am going to eat (when it doesn't hurt too much), breathe, live and affirm that everything will work out, sales will be made to meet my financial goals, and that I already feeeelll like a prosperous, savy business woman.

I can't hurt (much). All I know is that my present state of FEAR is poison to me emotionally and physically.