South western Ontario has been receiving a lot of snow lately. If you live in London, ON you know what I mean. Last week we got quite a load of the white stuff, enough to close schools and transit services. We (read Derek) have been shovelling our sidewalk, both at the store and at home way more times than we care to. After a couple of snow free days, it is now again coming down like there is an unlimited supply of the stuff.
I don't like having to deal with snow. I don't like the potential hip breaking fall that may occur, I don't like the insecurity of the car not stopping when I want it to stop, I don't like the cold, I don't like it when the dogs track huge amounts of snow in, thereby necessitating me to wipe all that mess up. And why is it that big dogs love to get up a couple of times through the night just to frolic in the snow. Shae is not my favourite pet these days.
However, here's the thing. A couple of weeks ago before all this snowing started, I was standing in the store looking out the window, and a nostalgic longing welled up in me as I thought about the previous year when I looked out the window and saw all this beautiful snow falling. How pretty it was. How cozy and snug I was standing in our store looking out at this white winter land. It was a longing and an appreciation of the beauty of snow. Not a single thought of inconvenience had entered this thinking. Hmmmmm, is this what manifesting is all about. And if so, I think I know why I am not a multi millionaire as of this moment. Those thoughts about riches are not of the same purity as was the appreciation of the memory I had of the beauty of a snowfall.
And you know, the way the snow lies on the branches of the trees is just absolutely beautiful. This mushy appreciation will probably morph into something else when I have to wade though 4 foot high snowbanks to get to the bus stop.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Husbands can be Evil
Today hubby and I were on our way to the store when we passed a construction site where there was an extremely tall crane, slowly lowering a stepladder to the roof of the building under construction.
With a straight face, my evil husband said “I sure wouldn’t want to be the guy having to climb that stepladder to get into the crane.”
My reply, obviously before my brain caught up to my mouth, was “The guy doesn’t have to climb that ladder they’re probably just lowering it to the roof to use it. He gets in the box thing at the bottom of the crane—he doesn’t control it from the top geeez.”
That’s when I saw his evil smirk. One shouldn’t drive and smirk, I always say.
“You got me good this time” I said. Revenge, when it comes, will be sweet.
With a straight face, my evil husband said “I sure wouldn’t want to be the guy having to climb that stepladder to get into the crane.”
My reply, obviously before my brain caught up to my mouth, was “The guy doesn’t have to climb that ladder they’re probably just lowering it to the roof to use it. He gets in the box thing at the bottom of the crane—he doesn’t control it from the top geeez.”
That’s when I saw his evil smirk. One shouldn’t drive and smirk, I always say.
“You got me good this time” I said. Revenge, when it comes, will be sweet.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Trust in the unseen wisdom
Sometimes, or quite often, we don't get what we want. Isn't that absolutely frustrating. I mean... really. We know what we want, or at least have a vague idea of what we want (lots of $$$) or a purpose in life, I guess, or to have a perfect relationship with our mate and family. Or to not have to call in the dog whisperer to straighten out the pooch. Things like that. And when our desires aren't answered (thwarted) we are soooo disappointed.
But, you know, sometimes not getting what we want is probably the best thing. Let me tell you. I recently went to the movies with my daughter and her WONDERFUL boyfriend (he paid for my ticket) and we saw Paranormal Activity II. Now this was an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone. Scary movies...well...they scare me. So going to a scary movie and watching it on the BIG screen called for seldom used courage. So I took a deep breath and sail to wind (or is that wind to sail) I went to the theatre and courageously watched this supernatural and quite scary movie. I only clutched at my daughter in fear a couple of times. Four to be exact.
The movie ended, I was rattled, but in a good way and, pumped up with bravado, couldn't wait to see the first Paranormal movie, now out on DVD. So the next day Hubs and I went to the DVD store to rent it. None available. DARN! Oh well, we could always get it off Rogers on Demand movies, right. We clicked through all the movies and couldn't find Paranormal Activities. DOUBLE DARN!!
I was soooo disappointed. How could this happen to me. I wanted wanted wanted WANTED to watch this movie and I wanted to watch it NOW. Didn't happen. So we watched other stuff on TV that night and I spent most of the evening fuming at not being able to see the movie I WANTED to see. Oh the injustice of it all.
Fast forward to the next day. As it turned out Hubby had to be at work late the next day, so I was home alone. ALONE. Well technically, both dogs and the cat were home with me, but really that's like being alone when it comes to that protected feeling. I mean, I'm sure that if I was in mortal danger they would come to my rescue as fast as only very old dogs can, not exactly a comfort. The cat would probably sleep right through the whole thing, it being even older than the dogs.
Anyway, the long and short of it is that as I lay in bed surrounded by wheezing, snoring and creaking old animals, I began to hear other sounds. Hubs, as I said was at work. It was really late at night, the wind had picked up, and I'm sure I heard that same anxiety provoking noise that always sounded in the movie just before something nasty was about to happen. Sleep did not stand a chance. As I cowered in bed with the blankets up beneath my chin, eyes darting to and fro searching for something I would probably not want to see in the first place, I realized that watching the first Paranormal Activity movie which my daughter assured me was as scary as the second one, would have been a really bad idea.
Sometimes my plans are thwarted for my own good.
But, you know, sometimes not getting what we want is probably the best thing. Let me tell you. I recently went to the movies with my daughter and her WONDERFUL boyfriend (he paid for my ticket) and we saw Paranormal Activity II. Now this was an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone. Scary movies...well...they scare me. So going to a scary movie and watching it on the BIG screen called for seldom used courage. So I took a deep breath and sail to wind (or is that wind to sail) I went to the theatre and courageously watched this supernatural and quite scary movie. I only clutched at my daughter in fear a couple of times. Four to be exact.
The movie ended, I was rattled, but in a good way and, pumped up with bravado, couldn't wait to see the first Paranormal movie, now out on DVD. So the next day Hubs and I went to the DVD store to rent it. None available. DARN! Oh well, we could always get it off Rogers on Demand movies, right. We clicked through all the movies and couldn't find Paranormal Activities. DOUBLE DARN!!
I was soooo disappointed. How could this happen to me. I wanted wanted wanted WANTED to watch this movie and I wanted to watch it NOW. Didn't happen. So we watched other stuff on TV that night and I spent most of the evening fuming at not being able to see the movie I WANTED to see. Oh the injustice of it all.
Fast forward to the next day. As it turned out Hubby had to be at work late the next day, so I was home alone. ALONE. Well technically, both dogs and the cat were home with me, but really that's like being alone when it comes to that protected feeling. I mean, I'm sure that if I was in mortal danger they would come to my rescue as fast as only very old dogs can, not exactly a comfort. The cat would probably sleep right through the whole thing, it being even older than the dogs.
Anyway, the long and short of it is that as I lay in bed surrounded by wheezing, snoring and creaking old animals, I began to hear other sounds. Hubs, as I said was at work. It was really late at night, the wind had picked up, and I'm sure I heard that same anxiety provoking noise that always sounded in the movie just before something nasty was about to happen. Sleep did not stand a chance. As I cowered in bed with the blankets up beneath my chin, eyes darting to and fro searching for something I would probably not want to see in the first place, I realized that watching the first Paranormal Activity movie which my daughter assured me was as scary as the second one, would have been a really bad idea.
Sometimes my plans are thwarted for my own good.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Canoing is not for the inexperienced
Hubby and I went to Stratford (Ontario that is) for a meander by the river. While there I came up with the great idea of renting a canoe ($23 dollars of fun and adventure). My intention was to take the back seat(?) so that I could, you know, have a rest now and then while Derek was paddling from the front. The canoe attendant said that the back was intended for the person doing the steering. Derek and I looked at each other and typical of a woman of my generation I DEFERRED to him. I KNOW!! WHAT WAS I THINKING!!! I guess I was thinking that since hubby looks intelligent he must therefore be clever enough to steer a canoe. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!
Granted he's pretty smart about doing exactly what I tell him to do. He is pretty good at math. He has survived 60 years and done very well for himself. He married me. But when it comes to steering a canoe, well...just let me say this:
I apologize to all the other canoe' rs for that adrenaline rush they must have experienced upon seeing a canoe with a grey haired totally inept oldish but stylish couple seeming to deliberately paddle towards them with the intention of causing a headlong crash. I apologize to the gaggle of ducks who, with snarly quacks, had to take flight to avoid being run over by an out of control canoe. To the people on that mini cruise boat: I don't know why you were shouting and pointing so much, after all, we did not ram into you, we managed to get ourselves turned around and avoid this ugly catastrophe with a good six inches to spare. But I do apologize for scaring you half to death.
Next time, I steer.
Granted he's pretty smart about doing exactly what I tell him to do. He is pretty good at math. He has survived 60 years and done very well for himself. He married me. But when it comes to steering a canoe, well...just let me say this:
I apologize to all the other canoe' rs for that adrenaline rush they must have experienced upon seeing a canoe with a grey haired totally inept oldish but stylish couple seeming to deliberately paddle towards them with the intention of causing a headlong crash. I apologize to the gaggle of ducks who, with snarly quacks, had to take flight to avoid being run over by an out of control canoe. To the people on that mini cruise boat: I don't know why you were shouting and pointing so much, after all, we did not ram into you, we managed to get ourselves turned around and avoid this ugly catastrophe with a good six inches to spare. But I do apologize for scaring you half to death.
Next time, I steer.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sometime in February 2010
Carol: Honey, I was thinking about the labyrinth we built last year behind the store.
Derek (feeling his shoulders tense at the words “I was thinking”) Hummm what were you er..thinking?
Carol: Well you know how we just let the grass grow longer to form the outline of it and we had to mow the grass in circles to keep the grass in the path shorter…
Derek: yes, I remember
Carol: Well…that must have seemed like a lot of work for you, don’t you think?
Derek (feeling set up but not knowing where this was going) It took a while to cut the grass, but.. but I didn’t mind.
Carol: I think there’s an easier way to do it this summer.
Derek (chills running up and down his spine) There is? How, I mean I really didn’t mind going in circles cutting the lawn.
Carol: Even though it was an electric mower?
Derek: No, I just took my time and moved the cord when I needed to.
Carol: but you must have found that frustrating
Derek: Well yes (looks at Carol and sees the predatory gleam in her eyes) I mean NO, not at all.
Carol: I have an idea that will make cutting the grass much easier for you.
Derek: We don’t build the labyrinth this year?
Carol: Oh no, we build it but we make it more permanent
Derek: (worried now) Permanent. How? (and what hell is she going to put him through this time?)
Carol: Stop looking like a cornered animal. This is a great idea.
Derek: (resigned at last, because he knows he can’t stop this moving train) What do you have in mind?
Carol smiles: You know the bricks from Stephen’s chimney that are stacked in his backyard?
Derek: Yeah (cold dread clenching his bowels)
Carol: What’s he going to do with them?
Derek: (Frantically searching his mind for some sort of reason why they couldn’t use the bricks because he now knows what his near future is going to be like) Ummmm, I’m not sure, maybe he needs them for something else.
Carol: Find out. If he wants to get rid of them, tell him we’ll be glad to take them off his hands.
Derek: What??! How!?!...How are we going to transport them across town to the store?
Carol: Last time I looked, the car has a trunk. (sweet smile with a wink thrown in)
Derek: (Agast) Do you know how many trips it would take to move that many bricks???
Carol: If we start now, we should be done by the time we’re ready to put them in the ground?
Derek (makes odd squawking noise) In the…What do you mean in the ground???
Carol: Well, when we outline the labyrinth, we can’t leave them on top of the ground in case someone trips over them. They have to be put in at ground level. That way, we can just mow the grass over them. It’ll be so much easier for us.
Derek: (Speechless, frantically searching his mind for a way out.) Do you think our landlord would agree to this?
Carol: Already asked him. He thinks it’s a great idea.
Derek: Bu Bu Bu But do you realize how much work this is going to be???!!!
Carol: Probably a full day. Maybe two. Once we get going, it’s going to be a piece of cake.
Derek: That’s a lot of bricks we’re talking about. When will we find the time to do this?
Carol: A couple of weekends should do it. (then in a sweet, understanding soft voice) Honeyyy, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m just thinking of you and all the grass you’ll have to cut in the summer. And if it doesn’t rain much, all the watering we’ll have to do to keep the outline of the labyrinth green and lush.
Derek: I don’t know…
Carol: Just think about it. Sure it’s going to be hard work for a couple of days, but when it’s done it will be easy sailing all summer.
Derek: I guess I can check with Stephen about these bricks…
Carol: You’ll see, we’ll have fun doing this. A couple days in the sunshine, Think of the accomplishment we’ll feel when we’re done.
What was left unsaid by Carol was: By we I mean you.
The labyrinth was built, it took 36 hours. Digging the holes for the bricks turned out to be more difficult than anticipated due to large rocks and tree roots. However, Derek agrees that his share of 30 hours was really worthwhile.
Special thanks to Corinne Sparks for her help in getting the labyrinth started.
Carol: Honey, I was thinking about the labyrinth we built last year behind the store.
Derek (feeling his shoulders tense at the words “I was thinking”) Hummm what were you er..thinking?
Carol: Well you know how we just let the grass grow longer to form the outline of it and we had to mow the grass in circles to keep the grass in the path shorter…
Derek: yes, I remember
Carol: Well…that must have seemed like a lot of work for you, don’t you think?
Derek (feeling set up but not knowing where this was going) It took a while to cut the grass, but.. but I didn’t mind.
Carol: I think there’s an easier way to do it this summer.
Derek (chills running up and down his spine) There is? How, I mean I really didn’t mind going in circles cutting the lawn.
Carol: Even though it was an electric mower?
Derek: No, I just took my time and moved the cord when I needed to.
Carol: but you must have found that frustrating
Derek: Well yes (looks at Carol and sees the predatory gleam in her eyes) I mean NO, not at all.
Carol: I have an idea that will make cutting the grass much easier for you.
Derek: We don’t build the labyrinth this year?
Carol: Oh no, we build it but we make it more permanent
Derek: (worried now) Permanent. How? (and what hell is she going to put him through this time?)
Carol: Stop looking like a cornered animal. This is a great idea.
Derek: (resigned at last, because he knows he can’t stop this moving train) What do you have in mind?
Carol smiles: You know the bricks from Stephen’s chimney that are stacked in his backyard?
Derek: Yeah (cold dread clenching his bowels)
Carol: What’s he going to do with them?
Derek: (Frantically searching his mind for some sort of reason why they couldn’t use the bricks because he now knows what his near future is going to be like) Ummmm, I’m not sure, maybe he needs them for something else.
Carol: Find out. If he wants to get rid of them, tell him we’ll be glad to take them off his hands.
Derek: What??! How!?!...How are we going to transport them across town to the store?
Carol: Last time I looked, the car has a trunk. (sweet smile with a wink thrown in)
Derek: (Agast) Do you know how many trips it would take to move that many bricks???
Carol: If we start now, we should be done by the time we’re ready to put them in the ground?
Derek (makes odd squawking noise) In the…What do you mean in the ground???
Carol: Well, when we outline the labyrinth, we can’t leave them on top of the ground in case someone trips over them. They have to be put in at ground level. That way, we can just mow the grass over them. It’ll be so much easier for us.
Derek: (Speechless, frantically searching his mind for a way out.) Do you think our landlord would agree to this?
Carol: Already asked him. He thinks it’s a great idea.
Derek: Bu Bu Bu But do you realize how much work this is going to be???!!!
Carol: Probably a full day. Maybe two. Once we get going, it’s going to be a piece of cake.
Derek: That’s a lot of bricks we’re talking about. When will we find the time to do this?
Carol: A couple of weekends should do it. (then in a sweet, understanding soft voice) Honeyyy, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m just thinking of you and all the grass you’ll have to cut in the summer. And if it doesn’t rain much, all the watering we’ll have to do to keep the outline of the labyrinth green and lush.
Derek: I don’t know…
Carol: Just think about it. Sure it’s going to be hard work for a couple of days, but when it’s done it will be easy sailing all summer.
Derek: I guess I can check with Stephen about these bricks…
Carol: You’ll see, we’ll have fun doing this. A couple days in the sunshine, Think of the accomplishment we’ll feel when we’re done.
What was left unsaid by Carol was: By we I mean you.
The labyrinth was built, it took 36 hours. Digging the holes for the bricks turned out to be more difficult than anticipated due to large rocks and tree roots. However, Derek agrees that his share of 30 hours was really worthwhile.
Special thanks to Corinne Sparks for her help in getting the labyrinth started.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Talking to Trees
No I don't talk to trees...not presently anyways. But I am becoming more aware of how good nature feels, especially now that Spring is here. There is value in listening to the chirp of birds, the rustling of leaves, the whisper of the wind. A few years ago, I would have perceived these things differently. Birds chirping? Thoroughly annoying at six in the morning. Wind whispering? Probably would not have noticed unless it was gale force, then I would have been scared and heading to the basement. Leaves rustling? ditto, and then cursed all the twigs I would then have to pick up the day after the wind storm.
A few years ago, when I was visiting my unusual family in la belle province, my cousin who is in her seventies talked about meeting Jacob...the tree. Yes, indeed, she had been for a walk in the park and had seen a tree that was so beautiful that she felt compelled to go up to it and hug it and, get this, LISTEN to it. The tree told her that it's name was Jacob, and that this was its second incarnation. It told her that it was happy, and that it loved her very much. Uh Huh. At this point, I made a couple of snap judgements like: good ole coz was definitely missing a few essential marbles, and dear God why, WHY had I been born into this family's gene pool. Hopefully, I was spared this particular tree talking gene.
Now looking back, I see my cousin differently. Where I once considered her rather eccentric, I now see that she is wise...and eccentric but in a cute way. She has always treasured trees, plants and wild animals. Chipmunks will come and eat right out of her hand. She has always communed with nature. She is one of the most peaceful people I know. Sure, when she starts talking about the spirits she sees and the trees she converses with she may come across as a bit of a nutbar, but I no longer see her that way. I think she is one of the few people who has reached a level of higher vibration/consciousness so that she is capable of hearing and seeing things that I and most people can't see or hear.
As I am getting older, I find myself taking the time to watch a squirrel as it makes its way across the top of my backyard fence. I find myself craving for a walk in Springbank park before I have to open the store for the day. In the summer, I will again sit by my small tree in the back yard and listen intently to the wind rustle its leaves. Taking the time to listen, really listen, has given me this indescribably joyous feeling and I am now addicted.
My morning glass of Metamucil is so much more fun to drink when I'm standing at the window looking at the birds and squirrels. A few years ago, I never would have thought I would appreciate birds and small furry animals to an extent beyond "Oh they're so cute!" My life would have been consumed with way more busy activities and thoughts.
Maybe my "conversing with trees" gene has yet to be activated. If it ever is, I will certainly compare notes with my cousin.
A few years ago, when I was visiting my unusual family in la belle province, my cousin who is in her seventies talked about meeting Jacob...the tree. Yes, indeed, she had been for a walk in the park and had seen a tree that was so beautiful that she felt compelled to go up to it and hug it and, get this, LISTEN to it. The tree told her that it's name was Jacob, and that this was its second incarnation. It told her that it was happy, and that it loved her very much. Uh Huh. At this point, I made a couple of snap judgements like: good ole coz was definitely missing a few essential marbles, and dear God why, WHY had I been born into this family's gene pool. Hopefully, I was spared this particular tree talking gene.
Now looking back, I see my cousin differently. Where I once considered her rather eccentric, I now see that she is wise...and eccentric but in a cute way. She has always treasured trees, plants and wild animals. Chipmunks will come and eat right out of her hand. She has always communed with nature. She is one of the most peaceful people I know. Sure, when she starts talking about the spirits she sees and the trees she converses with she may come across as a bit of a nutbar, but I no longer see her that way. I think she is one of the few people who has reached a level of higher vibration/consciousness so that she is capable of hearing and seeing things that I and most people can't see or hear.
As I am getting older, I find myself taking the time to watch a squirrel as it makes its way across the top of my backyard fence. I find myself craving for a walk in Springbank park before I have to open the store for the day. In the summer, I will again sit by my small tree in the back yard and listen intently to the wind rustle its leaves. Taking the time to listen, really listen, has given me this indescribably joyous feeling and I am now addicted.
My morning glass of Metamucil is so much more fun to drink when I'm standing at the window looking at the birds and squirrels. A few years ago, I never would have thought I would appreciate birds and small furry animals to an extent beyond "Oh they're so cute!" My life would have been consumed with way more busy activities and thoughts.
Maybe my "conversing with trees" gene has yet to be activated. If it ever is, I will certainly compare notes with my cousin.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Love Always Looks Out for Us
By love I mean God, the Universe, our Creator, that loving abundant joyful energy that exists in and around every atom of this universe.
Let me explain...
After reading a lot (A LOT) of self-help books, spiritual books, inspiring books, books on social anxiety disorders (which I suspect I may have a touch of), and philosophical books, you would think that I would have a handle on how a joyful life can be lived. And a lot of the time I love my life, feel in awe of all the blessings in my life (adoring husband, lovable kids, cute and fuzzy pets, long-time friends, a job I love, a great country to live in, enjoyment of nature etc.) But there are times when the darkness of the soul descends upon me and bit by bit, day by day, I begin to see myself as defective. Luckily this doesn't happen very often,but when it does, it hurts like hell.
I begin to feel unlovable, I read rejection (usually non-existent) in every encounter I have with people outside my immediate family. I want to be left alone but I don't want to be alone with my thoughts. I question my value as a friend, wife, mother, pet owner. I become very self-absorbed with my sadness then feel really bad that I am so self-absorbed and plunge into deeper sadness. I suddenly have more faults than the devil, I lose connection with any loving feeling I could possibly have. I believe I am incapable of love, I feel rotten to the core. There's a huge lump of despair in my solar plexus.
Then I go on to question my intelligence, my credibility as a business owner, my credibility as an adult. I spend way more time in bed than is healthy, eat way much more sugar than my body should have to tolerate, and I continue to descend into this dark abyss.
At this point, my positive self-talk doesn't help, I can barely articulate it in my mind. Crystals which can be so helpful through normal angst and anxiety are no match for this. I am not uplifted even for a moment when my pendulum assures me that things will be all right. Crying on my best friend's shoulder relieves the pressure of sadness a little, but not enough. A gentle, loving husband helps keep me from totally falling apart, but just barely. Clary Sage essential oil as recommended by my friend helps to lift my mood, but just a little bit. Though I think it was after I took a whiff of Clary Sage that I felt inspired to do the following, because...
When you combine all of the above with a novena or prayer of petition to St. Jude, the Patron Saint of Lost Souls, well something happens.
In this case it was a stranger who walked into my shop. Someone who knows WAY more about healing crystals than I do, someone who can feel energies in ways that I can't. She told me she liked my website and my blog. And then she gave me a hug. A little appreciation goes a long way. I hope I can do for someone what she did for me with her kind words.
(Writer reaches for a kleenex, feeling a little weepy now).
OK I'm back. So...when the usual things are not enough to combat this darkness, try a St. Jude prayer. You say it for 9 days in a meditative frame of mind. It goes like this:
May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved and preserved throughout the world, now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, please pray for me. Saint Jude, Worker of Miracles, please pray for me. Saint Jude, Helper of the Hopeless, please pray for me. Amen.
There are other longer versions of prayers to St. Jude, and you can find them by googling St. Jude. I just happen to like this one. I came across it when I was in my twenties and I've used it once before, and it helped in ways that I would have never expected and didn't appreciate till a few years later.
St. Jude helps with illness, financial problems, comforting a loved one etc. When your prayer has been answered, publish the prayer in the newspaper (that's how I first learned about it years ago), or in a blog or however way you want. Somehow that action brings it full circle, and by publishing this prayer, who knows, someone may read it and it might help them in wonderful and miraculous ways.
Thank you St. Jude, for favors granted.
Thank you stranger for your kind words
Happy Valentine's day.
Let me explain...
After reading a lot (A LOT) of self-help books, spiritual books, inspiring books, books on social anxiety disorders (which I suspect I may have a touch of), and philosophical books, you would think that I would have a handle on how a joyful life can be lived. And a lot of the time I love my life, feel in awe of all the blessings in my life (adoring husband, lovable kids, cute and fuzzy pets, long-time friends, a job I love, a great country to live in, enjoyment of nature etc.) But there are times when the darkness of the soul descends upon me and bit by bit, day by day, I begin to see myself as defective. Luckily this doesn't happen very often,but when it does, it hurts like hell.
I begin to feel unlovable, I read rejection (usually non-existent) in every encounter I have with people outside my immediate family. I want to be left alone but I don't want to be alone with my thoughts. I question my value as a friend, wife, mother, pet owner. I become very self-absorbed with my sadness then feel really bad that I am so self-absorbed and plunge into deeper sadness. I suddenly have more faults than the devil, I lose connection with any loving feeling I could possibly have. I believe I am incapable of love, I feel rotten to the core. There's a huge lump of despair in my solar plexus.
Then I go on to question my intelligence, my credibility as a business owner, my credibility as an adult. I spend way more time in bed than is healthy, eat way much more sugar than my body should have to tolerate, and I continue to descend into this dark abyss.
At this point, my positive self-talk doesn't help, I can barely articulate it in my mind. Crystals which can be so helpful through normal angst and anxiety are no match for this. I am not uplifted even for a moment when my pendulum assures me that things will be all right. Crying on my best friend's shoulder relieves the pressure of sadness a little, but not enough. A gentle, loving husband helps keep me from totally falling apart, but just barely. Clary Sage essential oil as recommended by my friend helps to lift my mood, but just a little bit. Though I think it was after I took a whiff of Clary Sage that I felt inspired to do the following, because...
When you combine all of the above with a novena or prayer of petition to St. Jude, the Patron Saint of Lost Souls, well something happens.
In this case it was a stranger who walked into my shop. Someone who knows WAY more about healing crystals than I do, someone who can feel energies in ways that I can't. She told me she liked my website and my blog. And then she gave me a hug. A little appreciation goes a long way. I hope I can do for someone what she did for me with her kind words.
(Writer reaches for a kleenex, feeling a little weepy now).
OK I'm back. So...when the usual things are not enough to combat this darkness, try a St. Jude prayer. You say it for 9 days in a meditative frame of mind. It goes like this:
May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved and preserved throughout the world, now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, please pray for me. Saint Jude, Worker of Miracles, please pray for me. Saint Jude, Helper of the Hopeless, please pray for me. Amen.
There are other longer versions of prayers to St. Jude, and you can find them by googling St. Jude. I just happen to like this one. I came across it when I was in my twenties and I've used it once before, and it helped in ways that I would have never expected and didn't appreciate till a few years later.
St. Jude helps with illness, financial problems, comforting a loved one etc. When your prayer has been answered, publish the prayer in the newspaper (that's how I first learned about it years ago), or in a blog or however way you want. Somehow that action brings it full circle, and by publishing this prayer, who knows, someone may read it and it might help them in wonderful and miraculous ways.
Thank you St. Jude, for favors granted.
Thank you stranger for your kind words
Happy Valentine's day.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The properties of the Citrine crystal
The reason I chose citrine today is that today I've been feeling rather grumpy. One of those "woe is me, my life sucks, I don't feel inspired, and I'm bored." Did you know that boredom is as bad for our health as stress. So, I'll be carrying a citrine in my pocket today and however long it takes to resume my happily fulfilled self.
Citrine is a stone of joy. It is associated with the solar plexus chakra and the crown chakra. Citrine is said to hold pure sunlight and never to absorb any negativity. As a matter of fact, you can cleanse your other stones by laying them on a citrine cluster. Citrine is also the stone of prosperity, attracting money or business (great stone to have if you're in retail).
To attract wealth place a citrine in the wealth corner of your home or business, which is the farthest back left point from your front door or from the door into an individual room. In my case, at the store it was in the furthest, darkest, most cobwebby corner of the storage room...yeeeesh. But if it helps, it was worth dealing with imaginary (or not so imaginary) spiders.
This happy yellow stone will clear any dark spots at home caused by restless spirits or negative earth energies. Keep citrine crystals in a room that seems cold or unfriendly. This protective stone drives away darkness and night fears and protects against negative people.
Physically citrine stimulates digestion, the spleen and the pancreas.
Citrine is the birthstone for November. Yellow topaz is also accepted as the November birthstone.
Citrine is a stone of joy. It is associated with the solar plexus chakra and the crown chakra. Citrine is said to hold pure sunlight and never to absorb any negativity. As a matter of fact, you can cleanse your other stones by laying them on a citrine cluster. Citrine is also the stone of prosperity, attracting money or business (great stone to have if you're in retail).
To attract wealth place a citrine in the wealth corner of your home or business, which is the farthest back left point from your front door or from the door into an individual room. In my case, at the store it was in the furthest, darkest, most cobwebby corner of the storage room...yeeeesh. But if it helps, it was worth dealing with imaginary (or not so imaginary) spiders.
This happy yellow stone will clear any dark spots at home caused by restless spirits or negative earth energies. Keep citrine crystals in a room that seems cold or unfriendly. This protective stone drives away darkness and night fears and protects against negative people.
Physically citrine stimulates digestion, the spleen and the pancreas.
Citrine is the birthstone for November. Yellow topaz is also accepted as the November birthstone.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Haiti
Unless you have been living on another planet, you are aware of the devastation occurring in Haiti. The hardship facing the residents of Port-au-Prince is unimaginable to someone living in Canada, though the media has been quite descriptive so maybe it is possible to somewhat imagine the horrendous time that these unfortunate people are going through.
My gratitude and admiration to all who have given their time and and left their comfortable homes to tend to the many victims. They are my heroes.
Like most, we have donated money to the Red Cross so that they can continue giving their much needed help.
One more thing I have done is send loving and healing thoughts and prayers to the people of Haiti. I hope that they are somehow comforted in their hour of need, I pray that each one has enough to eat and good water to drink, and I cheer every bit of good news I hear about the good works that have been going on so far.
God bless them all.
My gratitude and admiration to all who have given their time and and left their comfortable homes to tend to the many victims. They are my heroes.
Like most, we have donated money to the Red Cross so that they can continue giving their much needed help.
One more thing I have done is send loving and healing thoughts and prayers to the people of Haiti. I hope that they are somehow comforted in their hour of need, I pray that each one has enough to eat and good water to drink, and I cheer every bit of good news I hear about the good works that have been going on so far.
God bless them all.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Things I learned about hemorrhoids
1. It's not a fun condition.
2. If it's REALLY painful and bigger than a grape, don't wait a few days before going to see your doctor.
3. You won't enjoy seeing your doctor, because he will probably recommend lancing said hemmi at which point you will burst into tears of sheer terror.
4. It is not a good idea to ask your doctor if he is sure he knows what he's doing.
5. It's a bad idea to ask more than 6 times. But you will ask, you just can't help it.
6. The local anesthetic needle isn't as painful (or as big) as you feared. Try not to think about it.
7. The lancing procedure is fine because you are frozen, your anxiety level is returning to normal, the relief from relentless pain is pure bliss. You want to buy your doctor a car, you are so grateful for the relief.
8. The bliss experience is short, however, and when the freezing comes out, you guessed it, more pain. You want to be home, on the couch with your blankie and some pain killers (which may or may not work). Distracting yourself with a good movie is a must at this point.
9. You feel as if you will never see your sense of humour eveeeeer again.
10. You feel heroic. Why? I really don't know, but you feel heroic.
11. Metamucil becomes your best friend.
12. Your sense of humour returns.
13. Life goes on.
2. If it's REALLY painful and bigger than a grape, don't wait a few days before going to see your doctor.
3. You won't enjoy seeing your doctor, because he will probably recommend lancing said hemmi at which point you will burst into tears of sheer terror.
4. It is not a good idea to ask your doctor if he is sure he knows what he's doing.
5. It's a bad idea to ask more than 6 times. But you will ask, you just can't help it.
6. The local anesthetic needle isn't as painful (or as big) as you feared. Try not to think about it.
7. The lancing procedure is fine because you are frozen, your anxiety level is returning to normal, the relief from relentless pain is pure bliss. You want to buy your doctor a car, you are so grateful for the relief.
8. The bliss experience is short, however, and when the freezing comes out, you guessed it, more pain. You want to be home, on the couch with your blankie and some pain killers (which may or may not work). Distracting yourself with a good movie is a must at this point.
9. You feel as if you will never see your sense of humour eveeeeer again.
10. You feel heroic. Why? I really don't know, but you feel heroic.
11. Metamucil becomes your best friend.
12. Your sense of humour returns.
13. Life goes on.
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