You know that one, it's the voice in your mind that prompts you to do something different. It's the voice that tempts you to step out of your comfort zone. It's the voice that your rational self immediately shouts "Don't listen to it, you're being irrational!!!"
Well I didn't listen to that voice when it said "go ahead, buy a couple of belly-dancing costumes, they'll sell, really."
OK ~ word of explanation here: I own a small (I mean really small) retail business that sells body, mind and spirit products, books, and giftware. I've just added a line of pashmina-style scarves. The lady who wholesales them to me is, like myself, a small business entrepreneur and we hit it off and I ended up buying lots and lots of beautiful scarves.
At the end of our meeting she said that she also carries belly-dancing costumes and wondered if I would be interested in getting a couple of them.
That's when my little voice kicked in and said "What a great idea"
That's when my rational self woke up and loudly proclaimed that this was actually a really bad idea and that they would never sell. Guess what I listened to?
In the last three weeks, I have had 3 requests for belly-dancing costumes. Guess what I'll be ordering shortly?
Always listen to your little voice.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Good, good vibrations
OK, some may have noticed that my snarlyness surfaced in yesterday's blog. I was having a grumpy day. So, I put out to the heavens that I'd like some relief from all this angst, and God and the Universe answered me. The first thing to happen was that I had the pleasure of watching Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life video. I was expecting a shallow and simplistic rendition a la "The Secret" (yeah, I go back and forth on that one), but what I got instead was a movie that was well put together, that was really uplifting and put hope in my heart. It actually made me cry, but in a good way.
The Second thing to happen, was that I actually followed up on my plans to attend the London Gem and Mineral Society meeting last night. You see, I had planned on doing this for the last six months, but whenever the night arrived (the meeting is the first Thursday of every month) I would either forget about it, or I would decide that I just didn't feel like going (I normally don't like to go anywhere after supper where my evening gassiness might rear it's ugly head). But this time I was bound and determined to go no matter what (kind of like keeping that dentist appointment). I wasn't really looking forward to it, after all the guest speaker was going to talk about trilobites, not one of my major interests, but no matter, I was going and that was that. I can be a real killjoy when it comes to fun outings. I've cancelled a lot of planned events due to my lack of adventure (and I suspect, shyness).
Well, the meeting was really interesting and dare I say it, I had a great time. My husband did too. I was suffused with a joie de vivre that I hadn't experienced in a while. Maybe living like a hermit is not always good. Anyhow, Derek and I are now official members of the London Gem and Mineral Society. I can't wait till the next one where a guest speaker will talk about meteorites (ooooh shiver of anticipation up and down my spine).
If anyone who lives near or in London Ontario is reading this post and interested in attending the next meeting, it will be held at the Sir Frederick Banting High School, Rm 137, 125 Sherwood Forest Square, London Ontario (near Wonderland and Gainsborough Rds). It will be on the first Thursday of the month (except in January). If you have any questions call 519-245-2741 or check out the website @ www.element51.com/lgms.htm
Now, I'm going to write my affirmations like Louise suggested, because I think she is on the right track with the Law of Attraction. As a matter of fact I know she's right. Back in 1999, I started writing affirmations because I was going through a tough time. I had just bought (at a friend's suggestion) her book, You Can Heal Your Life and had finished reading Catherine Ponder's book The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity which really believes in affirmations. I must have filled 2 large notebooks with different affirmations that I wrote 15 times each. At the time I was going through some difficult crap and writing the affirmations over and over was actually calming and meditative. Looking back, I see that a lot of my affirmations came true. I haven't written affirmations for about 3 years now, and you know, I think it's time to pick up that pen again.
The Second thing to happen, was that I actually followed up on my plans to attend the London Gem and Mineral Society meeting last night. You see, I had planned on doing this for the last six months, but whenever the night arrived (the meeting is the first Thursday of every month) I would either forget about it, or I would decide that I just didn't feel like going (I normally don't like to go anywhere after supper where my evening gassiness might rear it's ugly head). But this time I was bound and determined to go no matter what (kind of like keeping that dentist appointment). I wasn't really looking forward to it, after all the guest speaker was going to talk about trilobites, not one of my major interests, but no matter, I was going and that was that. I can be a real killjoy when it comes to fun outings. I've cancelled a lot of planned events due to my lack of adventure (and I suspect, shyness).
Well, the meeting was really interesting and dare I say it, I had a great time. My husband did too. I was suffused with a joie de vivre that I hadn't experienced in a while. Maybe living like a hermit is not always good. Anyhow, Derek and I are now official members of the London Gem and Mineral Society. I can't wait till the next one where a guest speaker will talk about meteorites (ooooh shiver of anticipation up and down my spine).
If anyone who lives near or in London Ontario is reading this post and interested in attending the next meeting, it will be held at the Sir Frederick Banting High School, Rm 137, 125 Sherwood Forest Square, London Ontario (near Wonderland and Gainsborough Rds). It will be on the first Thursday of the month (except in January). If you have any questions call 519-245-2741 or check out the website @ www.element51.com/lgms.htm
Now, I'm going to write my affirmations like Louise suggested, because I think she is on the right track with the Law of Attraction. As a matter of fact I know she's right. Back in 1999, I started writing affirmations because I was going through a tough time. I had just bought (at a friend's suggestion) her book, You Can Heal Your Life and had finished reading Catherine Ponder's book The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity which really believes in affirmations. I must have filled 2 large notebooks with different affirmations that I wrote 15 times each. At the time I was going through some difficult crap and writing the affirmations over and over was actually calming and meditative. Looking back, I see that a lot of my affirmations came true. I haven't written affirmations for about 3 years now, and you know, I think it's time to pick up that pen again.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
If I'm OK, why do I feel so crappy?
Got my blood results back and everything checks out fine. My red blood cells are increasing, my iron level is going up, apparently I'm not going to die just yet. However, I still feel tired, crappy, achy, fuzzy headed and in general, not so good. Is that normal? I am getting long in the tooth. Actually that's a wrong metaphor - long in the tooth (meaning old), my teeth are actually getting shorter since I grind them at night. Anyway, does getting older mean that I'm going to feel crappy the majority of the time? Is that fair? Or should I get a different doctor. I asked him about taking Prozac for 10 (yes) ten years and if I was suffering side effects from taking it so long. He dismissed my worries pretty quick, saying that I was worrying for nothing. I'm thinking of getting a second opinion. Besides, if I'm on Prozac, should I be worrying? Just asking.
Just got done reading a book by Ervin Laszlo called "Quantum Shift in the Global Brain: How the New Scientific Reality Can Change Us and Our World". He says that we are very much on the brink of extinction, that the planet can't sustain us any longer and that it's just a matter of time before life as we know it ends. He goes on to say, that we have to change how we think (ego and materialistic) and become more compassionate for the less fortunate, the starving and homeless. Business has to change it's priority from amassing wealth to functioning in a conscious and environmental way. Governments need to get along and that we all should be very considerate of each other. Sounds like a piece of cake, doesn't it. He makes good points, and I would love to see these wonderful things happen.
But, will terrorists, drug dealers, child and woman abusers and other nasty people in general decide to be more considerate of others. Will religious and political persecution end? Will politicians finally tell the truth? Will business become more environmentally conscious and stop polluting? Will bullies stop bullying? Will forests and farmland be protected? Will bosses stop making employees' lives miserable? Will people stop shooting people in order to win an argument? Will puppy mills cease to exist? Will shoplifters stop buying things without money? Maybe when all our backs are against the wall and we face absolute extinction we will do something about it. We will still be behaving in our best interests (saving our skins), but at least the world will be a better place.
If anybody has an idea about making this world a better place no matter in how small a way, please let me know. I for one am going to do a lot of praying for inspiration.
It's a start.
Just got done reading a book by Ervin Laszlo called "Quantum Shift in the Global Brain: How the New Scientific Reality Can Change Us and Our World". He says that we are very much on the brink of extinction, that the planet can't sustain us any longer and that it's just a matter of time before life as we know it ends. He goes on to say, that we have to change how we think (ego and materialistic) and become more compassionate for the less fortunate, the starving and homeless. Business has to change it's priority from amassing wealth to functioning in a conscious and environmental way. Governments need to get along and that we all should be very considerate of each other. Sounds like a piece of cake, doesn't it. He makes good points, and I would love to see these wonderful things happen.
But, will terrorists, drug dealers, child and woman abusers and other nasty people in general decide to be more considerate of others. Will religious and political persecution end? Will politicians finally tell the truth? Will business become more environmentally conscious and stop polluting? Will bullies stop bullying? Will forests and farmland be protected? Will bosses stop making employees' lives miserable? Will people stop shooting people in order to win an argument? Will puppy mills cease to exist? Will shoplifters stop buying things without money? Maybe when all our backs are against the wall and we face absolute extinction we will do something about it. We will still be behaving in our best interests (saving our skins), but at least the world will be a better place.
If anybody has an idea about making this world a better place no matter in how small a way, please let me know. I for one am going to do a lot of praying for inspiration.
It's a start.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Still trying to find results
The barium enema checkup turned up nothing unusual or newsworthy in my large bowel. Now I have to wait a couple of weeks and have more blood taken to see why my hemoglobin count is so low. The good news is that I don't have to prepare for this blood test--no fasting or anything. The bad news is that I hate needles. Oh well...
On a lighter note, well not really, I've just read "God is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens. He comes across as a very angry man. Totally doesn't believe God exists, and really dislikes all forms of religion, from Christianity to Islam to Buddhism. True, horrible actions have been committed in the name of God, but there has been a lot of good too. I do agree that we (us humans) are responsible for our actions, and it is not the fear of God, but our conscience that stops us from doing bad things (also fear of punishment - though the way the justice system is running these days, there's not much to fear).
I still think that there is something bigger than us that is all good, all loving, all knowing, be it called God, or the Universe or whatever. I just feel it in my bones. Is this hope, blind faith? Or is it that certain "knowing" (also known as intuition) that we (again, us humans) are born with and that we can access with practice?
I doubt that science will ever be able to prove or disprove the existence of Something Holy and Universal. It would be nice to have signs of this being - like supernatural occurrences. Of course, maybe there are supernatural events going on around us all the time, and we just don't see them. Now that's something to think about.
So, the biblical God really does not ring true for me. I think it is an interpretation of what was thought were some divine happenings made by a people that were struggling to make sense of their world. But, my inner knowing, my intuition, my wacky sense of hope and joy tell me that there is something wonderful and spiritual, and that it is our joyful duty to get to know it.
Though he is probably is in it for the money (after all everyone needs to make a living), I think Wayne Dyer has a good grip on this philosophy.
On a lighter note, well not really, I've just read "God is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens. He comes across as a very angry man. Totally doesn't believe God exists, and really dislikes all forms of religion, from Christianity to Islam to Buddhism. True, horrible actions have been committed in the name of God, but there has been a lot of good too. I do agree that we (us humans) are responsible for our actions, and it is not the fear of God, but our conscience that stops us from doing bad things (also fear of punishment - though the way the justice system is running these days, there's not much to fear).
I still think that there is something bigger than us that is all good, all loving, all knowing, be it called God, or the Universe or whatever. I just feel it in my bones. Is this hope, blind faith? Or is it that certain "knowing" (also known as intuition) that we (again, us humans) are born with and that we can access with practice?
I doubt that science will ever be able to prove or disprove the existence of Something Holy and Universal. It would be nice to have signs of this being - like supernatural occurrences. Of course, maybe there are supernatural events going on around us all the time, and we just don't see them. Now that's something to think about.
So, the biblical God really does not ring true for me. I think it is an interpretation of what was thought were some divine happenings made by a people that were struggling to make sense of their world. But, my inner knowing, my intuition, my wacky sense of hope and joy tell me that there is something wonderful and spiritual, and that it is our joyful duty to get to know it.
Though he is probably is in it for the money (after all everyone needs to make a living), I think Wayne Dyer has a good grip on this philosophy.
Friday, August 29, 2008
The Day Before the Barium Enema Test (aka Hell Day)
Today I had a barium enema test done. No fun at all, see previous blog. Yesterday wasn't so great. I had to take laxatives and then drink that weird fizzy drink to clear my bowels out completely. All I could have was clear juices, jello and clear broth. By two o'clock in the afternoon, I was going crazy with hunger. I checked my prep instructions again to see if I had misunderstood the food restrictions. the List said: Restriction to clear liquids the day prior to procedure. Hmmmm...did that mean only clear liquids with my meals as opposed to milk? It was possible I had misunderstood the instructions. To be sure, I called the phone number provided at the bottom of my list.
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: Hi, I'm have a barium enema done tomorrow and I just wanted to be clear on the food restrictions.
Woman Who Answered the Phone: You are restricted to a clear liquids diet the day before your test.
Me: Does that mean I can't have food.
W.H.A.T.P: It means that you are restricted to a clear liquids diet for the day, and nothing to eat or drink after midnight.
Me: uh unh. So....I can only drink clear liquids, no food, right?
W.H.A.T.P: I means you are to have only clear liquids. You can also have jello if you wish.
Me: So... no toast or anything.
W.H.A.T.P. (with incredible patience): That's right dear, just liquids.
Me: Okay, Thanks
W.H.A.T.P: No problem. Bye
Hunger makes me stupid.
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: Hi, I'm have a barium enema done tomorrow and I just wanted to be clear on the food restrictions.
Woman Who Answered the Phone: You are restricted to a clear liquids diet the day before your test.
Me: Does that mean I can't have food.
W.H.A.T.P: It means that you are restricted to a clear liquids diet for the day, and nothing to eat or drink after midnight.
Me: uh unh. So....I can only drink clear liquids, no food, right?
W.H.A.T.P: I means you are to have only clear liquids. You can also have jello if you wish.
Me: So... no toast or anything.
W.H.A.T.P. (with incredible patience): That's right dear, just liquids.
Me: Okay, Thanks
W.H.A.T.P: No problem. Bye
Hunger makes me stupid.
Can Barium Enemas be Funny, Depends on how you look at it.
Because I have the misfortune of being anemic, I was instructed to have a barium enema test done. Below is a brief description of the procedure from hell.
A barium enema is a procedure used to examine and diagnose problems with the human colon (large intestine). X-ray pictures are taken while barium sulfate fills the colon via the rectum. The patient lies on the x-ray table and a preliminary X-ray is taken. The patient is then asked to lie on the side while a well lubricated enema tube is inserted into the rectum. As the enema enters the body, the patient might have the sensation that their stomach is being filled. A small balloon at the tip of the enema tube may be inflated to help keep the barium inside. The flow of the barium is monitored by the health care provider on an X-ray screen (like a TV monitor). Air may be puffed into the colon to distend it and provide better images (often called a "double-contrast" exam).
The above is courtesy of Wikipedia www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/barium_enema
The prep that I had to go through the day before, taking laxatives, and drinking that horrible drink and having to run and I MEAN RUN to the bathroom several times was pretty bad, but it was nothing compared to this. I sort of knew what to expect and yet I really didn't see the horror of it all coming. Once I was on the rather cold table, the enema was brought out, see above paragraph as to the procedure. Talk about the feeling of discomfort. It made all my other problems seem really minor by comparison.
Once the barium is in your cramping bowels, you have to turn over on the narrow table so that the barium coats your entire large intestine. So now, not only do you experience an invasive discomfort in the you-know-where, you also now have to worry about not falling off the table which suddenly seems a lot narrower. Then air gets pumped into you to expand your already uncomfortable abdomen. At this point I'm telling myself to think of my happy place and then I remember that, darn it, I haven't really established what my happy place was going to be (though anywhere but where I was at the moment would have been a happy place). Would it be the beach...or...perhaps....a hike in the woods...or....well at least this takes my mind of my current situation which is definitely NOT a day at the beach.
The x-ray machine takes picture after picture, while I have to turn to the left, then to the right, then all around, then back to the left and so on and on and on....
By now I'm feeling clammy and cold because of the chilly room temperatures. The exam room is kept cool for the equipment, but we tough humans don't have such finicky needs, I guess. I'm feeling weak because all I had yesterday was liquids and nothing at all today. At this point I'm really feeling sorry for myself, until a vivid picture of what this must look like flashes in my mind. Here I am on a table in a stupid white gown, with a hose coming out my butt. Now that's funny, but it will never be funny enough that I would EVER want to repeat the procedure just for the laughs.
A barium enema is a procedure used to examine and diagnose problems with the human colon (large intestine). X-ray pictures are taken while barium sulfate fills the colon via the rectum. The patient lies on the x-ray table and a preliminary X-ray is taken. The patient is then asked to lie on the side while a well lubricated enema tube is inserted into the rectum. As the enema enters the body, the patient might have the sensation that their stomach is being filled. A small balloon at the tip of the enema tube may be inflated to help keep the barium inside. The flow of the barium is monitored by the health care provider on an X-ray screen (like a TV monitor). Air may be puffed into the colon to distend it and provide better images (often called a "double-contrast" exam).
The above is courtesy of Wikipedia www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/barium_enema
The prep that I had to go through the day before, taking laxatives, and drinking that horrible drink and having to run and I MEAN RUN to the bathroom several times was pretty bad, but it was nothing compared to this. I sort of knew what to expect and yet I really didn't see the horror of it all coming. Once I was on the rather cold table, the enema was brought out, see above paragraph as to the procedure. Talk about the feeling of discomfort. It made all my other problems seem really minor by comparison.
Once the barium is in your cramping bowels, you have to turn over on the narrow table so that the barium coats your entire large intestine. So now, not only do you experience an invasive discomfort in the you-know-where, you also now have to worry about not falling off the table which suddenly seems a lot narrower. Then air gets pumped into you to expand your already uncomfortable abdomen. At this point I'm telling myself to think of my happy place and then I remember that, darn it, I haven't really established what my happy place was going to be (though anywhere but where I was at the moment would have been a happy place). Would it be the beach...or...perhaps....a hike in the woods...or....well at least this takes my mind of my current situation which is definitely NOT a day at the beach.
The x-ray machine takes picture after picture, while I have to turn to the left, then to the right, then all around, then back to the left and so on and on and on....
By now I'm feeling clammy and cold because of the chilly room temperatures. The exam room is kept cool for the equipment, but we tough humans don't have such finicky needs, I guess. I'm feeling weak because all I had yesterday was liquids and nothing at all today. At this point I'm really feeling sorry for myself, until a vivid picture of what this must look like flashes in my mind. Here I am on a table in a stupid white gown, with a hose coming out my butt. Now that's funny, but it will never be funny enough that I would EVER want to repeat the procedure just for the laughs.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I have to what?
Had my blood work done recently for my annual checkup (though I use the word annual loosely). Hubby had his done too. Results, his were totally fine. Mine...well I guess I'm low on iron, got a low hemoglobin count etc. That would account for the fact that I have been feeling really tired lately. My doctor wants to find out why my red blood cells are doing a disappearing act so he has recommended a couple of tests for me. #1 was to take stool samples with what looked like popsicle sticks. That was fun. #2 I have to take a barium enema x-ray. Barium and enema are two words I would just as soon not be part of my life. A couple of people I know have been through this ordeal and hinted that it was no day at the beach. yay. I've got to do this on Aug 28th. I'm counting the hours. Since I'm having to go right to the other end of the city from where I live I have been advised to Know Where Available Public Bathrooms Are. I'm probably being a wuss about this, but I really dislike discomfort.
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